Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Larry's evil little plan to get me fired

My friend Larry, aka Firebear, sent me this the other day. I had provided him with my work email address because I haven't had access to my home email address in awhile.

So here's how Larry is trying to get me fired. I start reading, I get to the end and I almost fall out of my chair because I start laughing so hard. I have co-workers staring at me in amazement while I just point my finger at the screen and laugh hysterically, tears rolling down my face.

Okay, maybe he's not trying to get me fired. Maybe it's committed because I looked like a total freak.

Anyway, my comments, as always, are in italics.

A day in the call center would be boring if all the calls were easy. Do not take it wrong, we like the easy ones. Of course some times the calls are a little too easy.

Me: Thanks for calling! How can I help you today?

Does Not See Simple Patterns Man (DNSSPM): Yea, I need to know what day the checks are coming out this month.

Me: January 25th.

DNSSPM: Ohkay! How about in February?

Me: The 25th.

DNSSPM: And March?

Me: The 25th.

DNSSPM: And April?

Me: The 25th.


Me: The 25th.


Me: The 25th. Oh wait the 25th is a Saturday. So checks are out the 24th.

DNSSPM: Ahhh! Okay! That is all I need for now. Thanks for the help! I will just call back in June and get the dates for the rest of the year.

Me: You are very welcome, sir! It may be faster though that if you called your bank for those pay dates. I see in the system that you bank with NABABNA. I know the ladies in that call center are terrific and I am sure they will be able to answer all your questions. They even sing (Yes! Karaoke! Well, Beth and I sing. Keem is stubborn).

DNSSPM: They sing? Wow! Do they take requests?

Me: Yes, anything but the “Doors”.

DNSSPM: They don’t like the “Doors”?

Me: Yea, go figure. How can you not like the “Doors”? I tell you people are strange! HeHeHe, I made a funny (I recently wrote a post about this guy that was hitting on me and kept asking me to sing this song. You should read it. I'm pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself. But this is why I was laughing so hard)!

DNSSPM: Great, I will call them! Thanks!

Larry, thank you again for providing me with much laughter. This is a great post! Also, thank you for making me listen closely to conversations, trying to come up with a half-heard quote. Nothing good so far. My customers are so much more boring now that I'm working with stock as opposed to overdraft fees.

We are always willing to have guest bloggers! If you have a good customer service story (well, I guess I mean a bad one since those are the most amusing), please send an email to And if you have sent one, I apologize. I have computer issues at home and have not been able to check my email in many, many days. It is very sad. But my new computer will be set up either tonight or tomorrow! Yay!