I might be getting a little jaded...

The lack of customer service stories on this site (at least from me) has to do with the fact that most of my calls are starting to all sound the same. I'm starting to wish for calls from customers with crazy situations.

Believe me, when you tell me that you can't afford to buy diapers for your two-year old and I can see that you're overdrawn because of ATM withdrawals at casinos, strip clubs, and liquor stores, I don't have any sympathy left. I'd be much more sympathetic if you told me the aliens landed and you had to show them a good time or they would abduct your two-year old and that's why you're overdrawn (again). Be creative! If you make us laugh, we might give you a fee or two back. At least it makes it more interesting. If you're going to lie, don't tell the same lie everyone tells ("It's not my fault I spent money I didn't have because your bank is just evil.")

We're not evil. Get a life. We're a bank. We manage accounts for customers. If you want the accessibility of using a debit card to make purchases and withdraw funds and you want to write checks, pay attention to how much money you have. It's not rocket science. It's simple math. There's not even long-division involved!

So tonight I spoke to Mr. Trying-to-Beat-the-Bank (TBB). Here's the highlights of the call:

B (that's me!): Thanks for holding Mr. TBB. My name is Beth and I understand you want to discuss your overdraft fee.
TBB: I can't be overdrawn! I deposited money.
B: I'd be happy to look into this. I see a deposit for today for $100. Is that what you're referring to?
TBB: Yes. I had the money in there.
B: But you made the purchase three days ago.
TBB: But the deposit was a money order.
B: Okay. The negotiability of the item does not change the fact the purchase cleared your account before you put the money in there.
TBB: I've never had this problem before.
B: Mr. TBB, you've been overdrawn 55 times in the last year.
TBB: So?
B: What happened in those situations?
TBB: YOUR bank decided to charge me when I made a deposit.
B: After the purchases?
TBB: That's not the point! The point is that I shouldn't be charged.
B: Mr. TBB, the idea of a deposit account is to have the funds in an account to cover your outstanding items so that when they clear, there's money for them.
TBB: I don't think that's right.
B: If you want an account that you can make the purchases and then pay for them later, that would be a credit account.
TBB: It's a bank error that I got charged. I put the money in there today! You shouldn't charge me.
B: Oh, good Lord. Do you agree with the whole concept of time moving in a forward direction?
TBB: Yes.
B: And you agree that Thursday, February 3 is BEFORE Tuesday, February 8?
TBB: Yes.
B: So it would stand to reason that if you made a purchase on last Thursday and didn't deposit the funds to cover it until today, the money was not in the account when you spent the funds?
TBB: Yes, but you need to reverse my fee.
B: No.
TBB: Why not?
B: You spent money before you had it. That's not our error.

This continues for awhile and he gets really mad. I may have been called some colorful names. Oh, the joys of customer service. He eventually realized I wasn't going to reverse his fee and hung up on me.