Who Reads Those Things???

I have to admit, I don't read everything I get after signing up for something, but after working for NABABNA, I realize that it is kind of important. Here are some of my favorites:

Young Customer (YC): I don't understand why my checking account is overdrawn. Can you help me?
K: Sure, let's go over your transactions since the last time you balanced your statement with the bank's balance.
YC: Statement? What's a statement?
K: hitting mute button and laughing hysterically

I would have to say that that is just as good as "I shouldn't be overdrawn, I still have checks left."

Ms. I don't Pay (MIDP): Why did you take money from my account?
K: NABABNA will take money from a related account if you default on your payments.
MIDP: You can't do that! I don't have to make payments on this loan. I've had loans in the past that never required that I make a payment.
K: That's interesting. Did you read your loan documents that you signed when you opened the loan?
MIDP: Who reads those things? I don't have to make payments. This loan doesn't require them.
K: Unfortunately, when you sign up for a loan, you are required to make payments to pay back what you've borrowed.
MIDP: No! I already told you I don't have to pay. Put my money back in my account. Right now!
K: As much as I would love to do that for you, our collections department took that money because you defaulted and I am unable to do so at this time.
MIDP: No! That's my money and you had no right to do that.
K: Well MIDP, when you borrow money from a bank, it stands to reason that you would be reqired to pay it back. I suggest that you read your original loan documents. By signing them, you agree to make your payments on a regular basis and that NABABNA has the right to take money out of a related account should you default on your payments.
MIDP: No! I want my money back. I want to talk to someone who can give me back my money!
K: I'd be happy to transfer you to our collections area. Since they took the money from your account, they can discuss this with you.
MIDP: Fine. Trnasfer me then.

Okay, I wasn't going to point out that there is a history of payments that were made in the past on the loan. What I really wanted to say to her is that I can see that you have made payments to this loan in the past. If you don't make them, then where did the money come from? Why are you now stating that you don't have to pay the money back? Give me a break! We aren't stupid.