If I hadn't taken the call myself, I would swear it didn't happen

We deal with all kinds at NABABNA, including the famous personality type, 'I want to pick a fight.' I don't understand the personality that just needs a reason to argue and has a sole purpose in life. That sole purpose seems to be complaining.

I got a full dose of the disillusioned woman tonight. I'll call her, "Offending Bigwords," you'll see why. Here is the call:

B (that's me!): Thank you for holding, my name is Beth and I'm a supervisor. The banker told me you wanted to speak to a supervisor. How can I help you?
OB: Where is my money?
B: I would like to help you. For clarification, are you stating your deposit is missing?
OB: No. I was supposed to get money and I want to know when I'll get it and how much.
B: Who is giving you the money?
OB: I got papers from a lawyer about a levy.
B: You had a levy on your account?
OB: I think so. What's a levy?
B: Normally, a levy is a hold on your funds because we received a court order to hold them. Some people have them for back taxes or child support payments.
OB: When did that happen to my account?
B: I don't know. You told me a lawyer contacted you about a levy. I asked if you had one on your account.
OB: I don't owe any back payments for anything!
B: Okay. Then you probably didn't have a levy on your account. Why did the lawyer contact you about a levy?
OB: When was there a levy on my account?
B: I don't know if there even was a levy on your account. I can check if there was one if you don't remember one if you know a range of dates.
OB: It was early this year.
B: Like January?
OB: Early this year.
B: You want me to look and see if something happened to your account sometime "early this year." What are you defining as "early this year?"
OB: This lawyer made me sign papers.
B: When was that?
OB: Early this year.
B: ARGH! Okay. What were the papers about?
OB: Don't you know?
B: Well, I'm not a licensed attorney and I never contacted you myself, so no. I only have the limited information you've provided to me on this call.
OB: Well, he sent me papers.
B: What were they about?
OB: I don't know. I didn't read them. I just signed them.
B: And this is why you're expecting money?
OB: Yes. Where is my money?
B: I have no clue. Do you have anything specific you can tell me?
OB: It was about money.
B: Well, we are a bank, it might. Anything in particular about money?
OB: It was about monetary money.
B: Monetary money? They're the same thing!
OB: Yes, monetary money. You work for NABABNA. You know what that means.
B: No, I don't. Monetary money is like saying money money. It's not like the song, Mony Mony.
OB: The lawyer was suing NABABNA.
B: Why?
OB: I don't know why.
B: Was he your lawyer?
OB: No.
B: Do you have a lawyer?
OB: No.
B: Do you have any information from what he sent you before?
OB: No. You should know what this is about.
B: It's about some lawyer suing our bank and you signed papers about money.
OB: Yes.
B: I have no specifics and I don't know what you're talking about.
OB: Well, I get money.
B: Okay, let me get this straight, you get money because you helped a lawyer sue us but you don't know why other than it had to do with money?
OB: Yes.
B: I can't help you. I need more specifics.
OB: But where's my money?
B: Where is it coming from?
OB: A lawyer. You should know.
B: I have no way to know what every lawyer in the country is doing. If you want, I can connect you to our legal department.
OB: I've talked to them before.
B: And what did they tell you?
OB: Nothing.
B: Why did they tell you nothing?
OB: They don't know what I'm talking about.
B: And you think that customer service knows more about some lawsuit that you can't tell me the name of or what it's about?
OB: No.
B: Then why did you call us?
OB: I don't know.
B: I recommend you find some information before calling us back so we can be better equipped to help you.
OB: Whatever.

Then she hang up. I have no idea what she wanted other than monetary money. I hope she finds something at home with information about this lawyer she signed papers for and calls him. He might know why he sued us at least.