A Drawer Full of Stories - Part Two

Since I am leaving the phone bank, I felt it was time to go through my list of escalated calls. I came across a few of them that I still remembered very well and thought you might be amused. Beth did a post about her drawer full of stories awhile back and it was quite funny (and a little scary)

The first customer, Mr. Money For Free (MFF (because, really, that's what he wanted))) called because he had overdraft fees on his account and wanted to talk to a supervisor. I was the one fortunate enough to get him.

DM: Thank you for calling, etc. I understand you are calling about the overdraft fees.
MF: This is wrong. You can't do this to me. I am going to sue.
DM: Okay. I'd be happy to review the account with you, sir.
MF: You had better. I am not happy with your service at all. These fees must be removed!
DM: Again, I'd be happy to go over your account, sir. Is there something that has gone through your account that you don't recognize?
MF: No.
DM: You made these purchases?
MF: Yes.
DM: Sir, I'm showing that at the time of these purchases, your account had a total of $50.00. You made purchases totalling $150.00.
MF: I know this. Why are you telling me this? I already know this.
DM: So you were aware that your account did not have the funds in it at the time you made these purchases?
MF: Yes.
DM: I'm sorry, sir. I'm puzzled. You deliberately used funds that you did not have. Your account became overdrawn and there were fees assessed.
MF: There should not be any fees! This is a bank error.
DM: I'm not showing an error. You have told me you made purchases and were aware there were not funds in the account. That is not a bank error.
MF: (Screams in frustration) Yes! Yes, it is an error! I called and told them that I was moving to Wisconsin from Texas and I needed to not have any fees on my account!
DM: Who is they?
MF: You!
DM: I have not spoken to you before, sir.
MF: No, not you! You!
DM: Are you saying that you called the phone bank?
MF: Yes!
DM: And you told someone that you were moving and you did not want any fees?
MF: Yes!
DM: What did that person say?
MF: They told me no. They said if I used my account and there weren't funds, I would be subject to fees. But I needed to use the money so I did. But I told you no fees!
DM: I apologize, sir. I am unable to reverse these fees. There is not an error.
MF: Yes, there is! I said no to fees!

The call went on for awhile after that. He continued to scream at me, I continued to tell him that there was not an error and the only way to prevent fees on your account was to not use it when there wasn't any money. Unfortunately, this never sank in and he hung up. His account is still overdrawn. Eventually we will close it and he will be sent to collections. All because he decided that the bank should just give him free money. I wonder if he will ever realize that banks are not charities. We don't give out free money.


The second customer was very upset. He had a joint account with his wife and there was a withdrawal made from his account that he did not recognize. The banker had informed him that this withdrawal was made to credit another account because it was delinquent. The customer was furious and demanded to talk to a supervisor.

DM: Thank you for calling, etc. I understand you are calling because of the withdrawal on your account?
BH (Bull-Headed): Yes, Dana. I'm going to give you one chance to give me the right answer. This account (he rattles off the number) is my joint account with my wife. I have been informed that there was a withdrawal from the account and that it credited an account my wife has with her son, my step-son. I am not a signer on that account and I am certainly not paying for his mistakes. He is a waste of time and space and I want nothing to do with him or his accounts. Your choice is to either reverse that withdrawal and put the money back into my account or I will go to the branch and close all of my accounts now. Is that understood?
DM: I am sorry, sir, I am unable to...
BH: I'm going to the branch.

The phone is slammed down in my ear.

Now, here's the thing, people. If you open an account at a bank, they provide you with disclosures. We are required to do this. This lists all the information about your account and everything you need to know about how to manage it. And, unfortunately, one of the things it talks about is delinquent accounts. If A has an account with B and B also has an account with C, if B & C's account becomes delinquent or overdrawn, it is possible for the bank to remove money from A & B's account. The common denominator is B. So please, if you don't trust the person you're going to open an account with or, for that matter, their kids, please, please reconsider opening the joint account. It's for your own good.


And the third customer was very annoyed with NABABNA. It appears that she wanted to withdraw some money from the ATM but, unfortunately, she had already made her withdrawl limit for the day. She wanted to increase her limit so she could withdraw some more money. The banker explained that he was unable to complete this request. So I got her. Lucky me.

DM: Thank you for holding, etc. I understand you would like to withdraw money from an ATM but are unable to do so since you have reached your limit and we cannot increase this limit for you. Is that correct?
GG (Give! Give!): Yes! This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! It's my money. I want my money! Give it to me.
DM: That is correct. This is your money in your account. However, the card is NABABNA's property. We are unable to increase the limit on the card.
GG: Why not? That's so stupid! It's my money!
DM: Again, as I've explained, the money is yours but the card does belong to NABABNA.
GG: Why won't you do this? I want to know why you won't do this! My friend was able to call and you did it for him!
DM: That might be, however, I am unable to do this for you.
GG: What does that mean? I don't understand what you are saying!
DM: I'm saying that I cannot increase your limit.
GG: But I'm at the casino! I want to go play some more blackjack!

She hangs up. Okay. That's incentive. You've already made withdrawls up to your limit on your ATM card. At the casino. The reason I am refusing to increase your limit is because you have had a total of 21 overdraft fees and 15 Insufficient Funds. You have paid well over a thousand dollars in fees. And I should increase your limit. Perhaps you should have planned a little bit better. Or stop going to the casino. Because you're obviously not winning.


I hope you enjoyed my drawer full of stories. It is now empty. But just wait, I'll be back on the phones next week. I'm sure I'll run into my quota of morons.