Origami - the art of stuffing a piece of paper into a smaller envelope

Before I go to far, I need to come clean. I wrote this post originally in August, but the computer freaked out and I lost it. I kept putting it off and putting it off because of my own laziness. Tonight, I attempt to recapture the dreaded call that may go down in history as the "Stupidest Woman on Earth Calls NABABNA."

I did not take this call myself. I stood next to a co-worker talking to this woman. The cast of characters include: Asha, the banker who received the call; Timmy, the supervisor dealing with this woman; and Ms. Folding-Up-Challenged (ha! I'm not adding a fourth word to that!) or FUC.

Imagine the setting, the evening is winding down, bankers are watching the clock (the evil master dictating over all workers of the world) slowly creep up to closing time. Asha has just started at NABABNA and is not expecting to deal with this type of customer. Timmy is looking around, noticing people gathering up their belongings and smiling because he's leaving in one hour. It's been a pretty decent day at work, not many morons today, and he should have knocked on wood. He really should have.

Ring!
A: Thank you for calling NABABNA. This is Asha. How can I help you? The sugary sweetness of her voice is apparent, nothing can get this girl down.
FUC: This is ridiculous. YOU need to help me right NOW! How do you expect me to get this payment in the envelope?
A: I am happy to help you ma'am. You are trying to put a payment in an envelope?
FUC: Well, that's what I said. How do I do this?
A: Did you fold it?
FUC: I can't get the address to show in the window! You need to help me with this RIGHT NOW!
A: Is it a payment to NABABNA?
FUC: That doesn't matter! You are trained in helping me with my payments!
A: Our payments do not have envelopes with windows. We are not trained in explaining this over the phone. I can try to help you.
FUC: You're stupid! Give me your supervisor!
A: I'm sorry, I want to help you.
FUC: Give me your supervisor RIGHT NOW!
A: Okay, can you hold?
FUC: Duh!

Asha placed Ms. FUC on hold. She dials the helpdesk and gets Timmy's friendly, calm voice on the other end.

T: Helpline, this is Timmy. How can I help you?
A: Timmy, this is Asha. I have a lady who would like to talk to a supervisor because I don't know how to help her in fitting her payment in the envelope.
T: What?!? She's escalating because she doesn't know how to fold paper?
A: As far as I can figure, this is correct.
T: Do you have any information on her?
A: No, she did not give me that.
T: Is the payment to NABABNA.
A: She didn't really answer that but I don't think so.
T: Alright, put her through.

Asha connects the woman to Timmy.

T: Thank you for holding ma'am. My name is Timmy and I understand you would like help folding your payment to fit in the envelope.
FUC: That girl is stupid! She doesn't know how to walk me through folding this paper and making the address show through the window of the envelope provided! If I don't get this mailed, I'll be late. How am I supposed to know how to get this to fit? This just doesn't make sense. Your people should be trained in directing someone how to do this. I KNOW you went through this training. You know and won't tell me!
T: I'd be happy to try and help...
FUC: Try??? TRY? You'll do better than try! You know how to do this. If you don't, YOU'RE stupid too! I tried over and over and I can't get the address to show in the envelope. I've been dealing with this for two hours now and I WANT HELP! I don't want you to TRY. You're stupid.
T: I'm sorry ma'am, I want to help you...
FUC: Don't you have the training? You should be able to tell me which side to fold first and at what point I should crease the paper. You have EXTENSIVE training in this. I KNOW you did. You're just an idiot!
T: I do not appreciate what you are saying ma'am. Please allow me to try and help you. Is this payment to NABABNA?
FUC: That doesn't matter. No, it's not.
T: I'm not trained in giving directions on how to fold paper over the phone, no one at NABABNA is. I can try to find options or a solution for you.
FUC: You're just stupid! You are TOO trained and you'll do this for me! I want you to give me the answer RIGHT NOW.
T: Have you tried just using an envelope without a window and writing the address on it?
FUC: Oh, now you're getting smart with me! You are dumb! You are stupid. You are lying to me. I know that you can give me the directions on how to do this.
T: Ma'am, NABABNA doesn't use envelopes with windows for payments. We have no training on how to direct someone over the phone. I can't see the paper, how would I know where you should fold a different company's payment to fit their envelope?
FUC: Whatever. You KNOW how to do this!

For the sake of not repeating over and over, this call lasted for 45 minutes. By the end, Timmy was just sitting there, staring at the wall with a look of shock on his face. The woman started just repeating and never allowed Timmy to interject. He never did get her to fold the paper correctly. She's really mad at NABABNA because another company uses windowed envelopes.

Now, my question is: How do you become an adult without knowing how to FOLD paper?!?!? This isn't like actual origami. It doesn't need to be shaped like a green duckie or anything.

Maybe Timmy was wrong and we are trained in folding paper. I must have missed that day of training.