Get my name right, dammit!

Many years ago I was working as a cashier for a major department store (Let's just call them Major's because they are still around and I will post about them later. Morons don't just bank. They shop as well.) I am wearing a name tag that has been carefully engraved with my name, Dana. I am at my station, ringing up customers. Ah, here comes a nice elderly couple. I begin to ring up the purchases. The gentleman smiles at me and says "They spelled your name wrong." I smile back at him and think "What?" I finish ringing up and, as they are walking away, the guy says "See you later, Diana."

I really, really wanted to say "Oh, thank you, sir! I am so stupid that I didn't realize that an I was left out of my name. What would I do without your keen observation skills?" Come on, people. Dana is not that uncommon of a name and yet, no one can seem to get it right. It is not Diana, Diane, Deanna, Deanne, Danna or Donna.

I actually had a teacher in junior high call me Donna for half the year. But she spoke so softly I just figured I was hearing her wrong. And then one day I asked for a pass to the nurse and there it was in bold writing, Donna V...... This is not my name. My name is not Donna. It's Dana. Repeat after me. Day. Nuh. Dana.

I even tried adding a Y to my first name. I thought "Hey, I bet if I spelled my name Dayna, people would get it." I was wrong. That just added to the confusion. Some people would call me Dayney. I thought about having it changed but my Mom wasn't thrilled with the idea. About ten years ago, I decided to try shortening my name to DM (Dee. Em. What is so hard about that?) I figured that if there were only two letters, no one could get it wrong, right? Hahahaha. I was so naive. I thought about spelling DM out like Diem (as in Carpe Diem?), no one got it.

It's Dana. Or Dana Marie, if you prefer. I like DM. It's short and to the point. My initials are DMV so, if you are so inclined, you can even refer to me as the Department of Motor Vehicles. Just don't call me Diana.