Are you blind?!?!

The following story is based on actual events. I wouldn't say that it would necessarily warrant calling the people involved morons, however, the customers in the store could very possibly qualify for the title. Prior to working at NABABNA, I worked for a convenience store. The great thing is that I can say anything I want to about it. Trust me, I have tons of material that would fit. I just have to have the time to actually write it. I hope you enjoy the first installment.

Imagine being the manager of this store. It is in a very, very unsafe neighborhood (had I realized it at the time, I probably wouldn't have chosen that particular store). The store had video cameras, however, you weren't able to see the entire store on any given camera. Knowing this, it will explain how this actually happened. If you are going into the back room of the store and find someone (who doesn't actually work there, by the way) in the back room, wouldn't you think it was odd if it happened more than one day in a row? Here's the conversation I had with the manager:

Scott: Keem, you aren't going to believe what happened at my store!
Keem: Well, Scott, considering where the store is located, I'm sure this is going to be good. What happened?
Scott: Okay, so I walked into the back room on Monday and found a customer wandering around back there. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was looking for the restroom. I didn't really think much of it at the time, but I told him it was on the other side of the store.
Keem: Interesting. Kinda makes it easy for someone to go into the back room when the door doesn't actually lock (but then it's hard when it's a revolving door, I guess).
Scott: On Tuesday I found the same guy in the back room again. I did think it was strange this time. He didn't have a good excuse this time.
Keem: (at this point I'm just trying to figure out what this is leading up to...)
Scott: So imagine my surprise when I came to work yesterday and was shocked to find that the TV was missing from the back room.
Keem: OMG Scott! How could that happen? It's not like we do TV repair or anything. Didn't anyone say anything? Did you see anything on the store video?
Scott: You have to see the video. When you are done at your store, come on by and watch this.
Keem: Okay Scott. I'll be there in a little bit.

At this point, I arrive at the store and am kind of curious how someone could get a TV out of the back room of the store and walk it right out the front door without anyone seeing or saying anything.

Before explaining the video, I'll explain how the store looks. The store is set up so that it's pretty much a rectangle. If facing the back of the store from the front, customers enter on your right. There are three rows of shelves split so that there are actually six sections. There are windows on the right side after the doors and the bathrooms are in the back on the right wall. On the left are the cooler/freezer doors and the back room door after the freezer. This is the basic set up of the store. You'd think that it would be easy to see everything from the register. However, the person at the register has to see past the rather large computer monitor that is the display for the register..I'm not talking small either. I would say that they are about 17" monitors. If you can see past the monitor, there are 2 banana trees beyond that (a banana tree is a display that has bananas stacked on the top, bread below that, bins for specials below the bread and then pop or other items stacked under that).

Now we settle in our chairs to watch the video unfold. There are 4 cameras in the store that show the view of the registers up front, the coffee bar, the front doors and down the first aisle by the cooler/freezer doors. We see 5 men (so as not to stereotype, I'll withhold and further details) standing by the freezer. Then there were 4. It was hard to see where the 5th man went as they were rather obviously standing around the back room door. Hmmmm...I wonder what he could possibly be doing. So the next thing you know, there he is holding this rather large, black, box-like object. This store is extremely busy at this point...can't anyone see what is going on? The 4 men proceed to block the 5th man with the TV. At this point they move to their left (my right) and they go off camera. I, at this point, am imagining the Flinstone tippy-toe effect. I can see them going from the end of one aisle to the next hiding behind the end caps. After about 5 minutes we see them march right up the aisle by the windows and right out the doors. Not a single person stopped them. Not one!

I almost fall out of my chair after seeing this.

Keem: Scott! How could Heather and Don not see this at all?!?
Scott: I have no idea! I would have seen this.
Keem: Why didn't customers see it? It's not like we do TV repair. Wouldn't you think it was odd to see 5 men carrying a TV and trying to be inconspicuous about it?
Scott: I can't figure it out. Let's re-enact it to see what they would have seen.
Keem: Okay Scott.

At this point, we realized that it was because of the monitors and the banana trees blocking the view. My only question is this: If you were a customer and saw this, wouldn't you mention it to someone?

There is a first time for everything. I would say that I've seen everything now, but sadly, I haven't. Here are a few quick ones about situations that happened while working for the same company.

This is an actual event in my home town. Sadly, my roommate from hell (I would think that everyone has had one of these at one point and time) knew the guy and was best friends with his wife. I had the opportunity to meet him once. Let's just say that he was a few cards short of a full deck. They say that robberies are often spur-of-the-moment rather than planned out. So a guy comes into the store with a shotgun and has the cashiers clean out the registers. He leaves the store and flees the scene of the crime. Imagine the clerk calling 911 and telling them that they were robbed. When asked about the robber, they told them that he took off on a bicycle and has the money and a shot gun. Hmmmm...do you think he got very far? Imagine my surprise the next morning when it was in the paper and my roommate and I realized that it happened to be her best friend's husband. Could it possibly be because he was going crazy working as a caretaker in the local cemetery? Yeah, I'd go crazy too if I could only talk to dead people at work. HA! I'm surprised that this didn't end up on Stupidest Criminals.

One guy that worked for the company had been held up and thought that he could prevent the thief from being successful because he was going to school to be a cop. He told the thief that he had to get something to scan from the shelf in order to open the cash register. Any guess on what happened? Yeah, don't piss off a person that is holding you at gun point or you just might get pistol-whipped. He was lucky he didn't get shot. I'm sorry folks, but if I am being held at gunpoint I'm going to cooperate. My life just isn't worth losing for my minimum wage job (okay, it wasn't exactly minimum wage, but it still isn't worth my pitiful salary).

My favorite part about working for the company as a manager was the interview process. You wouldn't believe the people. We were required to conduct security interviews for the second round interviews with a drug test to follow if they were someone you determined that was worth hiring. Here are some of the questions we were required to ask:

Have you ever done drugs?
Specifically Pot or Cocaine.
Have you ever stolen anything? Even as a small child? If you did, why did you steal? Will you ever steal again? What did you learn from stealing?
Have you ever bought stolen merchandise? Why or why not?
How did you know it was stolen?

Of course you tell the applicant at the beginning of the interview that everyone has done something at some point and time in their life. I am looking for honesty. If you aren't honest with me now, it will be harder to trust you in the future. Yeah. Honesty. If you tell me you did drugs, better luck next time.

Here are some of my favorites:

Keem: Well Jason, I would like to hire you. I have an appointment set up for you at the clinic for a drug test. You have to take it now. Once I get the results, as long as you pass, you will be hired.
Jason: I have to be honest with you. I tried Pot for the first time last night. Is that okay?

Keem: Mark, have you ever bought stolen merchandise?
Mark: Yeah, I buy it all the time.
Keem: Really, why?
Mark: You know, I know it's stolen, but the police never really do anything. I just report it and they give me this report number. They tell you that they will contact you if it comes up in an insurance report or whatever.
Keem: Wow. I'm surprised that they just give you a report number. I wonder why they don't do more than that. What types of stolen merchandise/property do you buy?
Mark: Stereos, speakers, radios, that kind of thing. Sometimes some clothes or whatever.
Keem: Well, Mark, it was great to talk to you. I should have my decision in a day or so.

Keem: (to the manager who did the initial interview) Shireen, I wouldn't hire him.
Shireen: But I really like him. He'd be great for the store.
Keem: I know, but he buys stolen merchandise. I don't think he'll work out. It's great that he was honest and all, but I don't trust him.
Shireen: Are you sure?
Keem: Yes, I know you liked him and this is the first person you've hired and all, but he won't work out.
Shireen: Okay. I understand.