Even morons receive paychecks

Inspiration hit me today. Frustrated and pulling my hair out, it hit.

At my job at NABABNA, the occasional task of finding out if a check has been paid through the account it is drawn on comes up. Not a big deal. I, like others in my position, call over to the maker bank and ask, "Has check #1234 cleared on account #1234567890?" The other bank usually says, "Yes," or the other popular answer, "No." This is simple. Should it take an hour?

It did today.

My customer had deposited a check for $1000 into his account. This check was a cash advance from a credit card. The check itself was not drawn on the credit card, it was drawn on an account held by Bank of Bank. The funds to clear this check were in an internal bank account, not a customer's account.

Thinking this wouldn't be so difficult, I called Bank of Bank. I spoke to Ignorant Female (IF). Here is the conversation:

IF: Thank you for calling Bank of Bank. I'm IF. How can I help you?
B: Hi, my name is Beth. I'm calling from NABABNA and I'm hoping you can help me determine if a check has cleared from an account. The account is held by Bank of Bank, not a customer. Can you do that?
IF: Yes I can. What is the customer's account number?
B: Well, I have that, but this check is not drawn on the customer's account.
IF: What are you looking for?
B: I want to know if this check has cleared the account it is drawn on.
IF: I'll look. What is the customer's account number?
B: The account number of the customer is 1234567890. But the account it is drawn on is 9876543210.
IF: The funds have cleared the customer's account.
B: But the item is not from the customer's account. It is from an internal bank account.
IF: What do you need to know?
B: I would like to know if the check has actually cleared the bank.
IF: Can you hold while I check?
B: Yes. Please, please, please ask someone for help.

I wait. She returns.

IF: That check has cleared.
B: Good. Are you able to tell me when it cleared?
IF: It cleared on Monday.
B: Um, the check wasn't deposited to NABABNA until Tuesday. How can it clear before it was given to us?
IF: Well, we gave the customer a check and billed his credit card on Monday.

Here is where I get the twinge that this employee of Bank of Bank doesn't have a clue. None, what-so-ever.

B: Okay. That doesn't answer the question of whether or not this physical check has cleared your bank then.
IF: But we billed him on Monday.
B: I get that. You gave him money, billed him, and cut him a check from another account. I am hoping that you can tell me if the check you gave him has cleared the other account. That account number again is 9876543210.
IF: Okay. Can you hold?
B: Yes.

She may have been asking for help here. If she was, she either got wrong information, or asked the wrong questions to her helpdesk.

IF: We paid the check from his credit card.
B: Has it cleared the account it is drawn on?
IF: Hold please.

Okay then. For the sake of frustration, I'll shorten this. She placed me on hold five more times. Each time coming back to tell me that his credit card was billed but having no information about the actual check clearing.

Finally, she transfers me to her supervisor.

IF: Beth, I have my supervisor, Gets It, on the line. You're speaking in technical terms and maybe she can help you.
B: Okay. Thank you.
GI: How can I help you?
B: I'm wondering if check #1234 has cleared account #9876543210.
GI: No. It is still outstanding. We have billed his credit card, but the check has not reached our bank yet to release the funds to NABABNA.
B: Thank you. You were a huge help.

I have a question. Maybe I've been in banking too long, but I do believe calling another bank and asking, "Has this check cleared?" is not technical. It's not like I said, "I am pondering for information to see if the negotiable item designated by the serial number 1234 has been presented for payment by being processed through the Federal Reserve system and the funds were released by the maker bank on the account specified by the numerical sequence 9876543210." Do you think "Has the check cleared?" is technical? Am I way out of line to think a bank employee should understand this? My inquiring mind wants to know.